Monday, 5 December 2016

Eyes and heart



"We actually see things with heart instead of eyes", that is so true, perhaps this is how the bright sky looked like to a sad heart, dull - nothing much to anticipate, hollow but got that deep darkness within; far beneath, almost lost to a dull sepia,

Always remember, we see things with heart, and a happy heart that made the sky bright, while the sad heart, just a sad heart, nothing's bright in a sad heart,

And when the sad heart see rainbow,
(Oh, that's a story nobody ought to know)

(k) #kikiandskies

posted from Bloggeroid

Thursday, 23 July 2015

The "0" that I love

"0" can merely be an empty circle, nothing's inside, hollow with no chance to stay in, or you can take it as an optimistic "0", never give up, a fighter; rotating at its own pace, looks empty (to the normal eyes) but full of the invisible magic inside (to the heart that ventured it),

I have always love how one "0" can be full and nought at the same time, and how you need to use your own heart to define. xx
(K)

posted from Bloggeroid

Tuesday, 26 May 2015

Two dimly "sorry" on one cold morning

And I said "sorry", only to heard another "sorry" have been replied back to me, rains are drizzling outside,

I took a big steps each -- even half of myself not sure why I was so rushing to be away, nor did I glimpse back. (even part of my heart want to)

Its a no start and no ending story. Almost not even a story.

But I'm writing it anyway.

Hoping that "sorry" linger around longer, xx
(K)

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, 24 May 2015

Some things are more visible through distance

*Only, if we see it thoroughly


Distance can made the gigantic sun small--

Nobody know that the sun is really much bigger out there if we just stand here (figuratively), we see what we choose to see and without wisdom we will always believe that the sun is really that small. Do not be blinded by distance, there are so much more beyond our naked eyes (K)

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, 20 May 2015

The Obsequious Clouds

Pic taken on 17 May 2015.


"Wherever the wind blow, clouds will follow".


And the clouds let the wind dictates their way, they will just follow, however far, absurd or risky that way is -- You don't be like clouds, but be you. (K)



posted from Bloggeroid

Thursday, 30 April 2015

The Beautiful Rain

Taken from Imgfave
*Mind you, I like rain.

Just I found it so funny today, since last week, almost everyday I brought my umbrella to work, eventhough at the end of the day the sky was so bright and shiny. Yup indeed, it rained a few evenings last week, but I happened to already settled down at home laying on bed and reading my ebook, so I got no chance to use my umbrella actually. 

No chance at all. 

Each day I will neatly tucked it back to the thin slot beside the driver seat. Even so, I will never forget to bring it back to the office, the prospect of rain didn't scare me at all, just I wanna be prepare in term of times, cos sometimes I need to reach home early or fetch my lil bro, so umbrella can be sort of shield to avoid me stuck at one place when I need to be at the other. 

"But they plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners". (8:30)

And while I was walking in the windy weather with dark clouds sorrounded me this evening -- Yea, I did cursed my forgetful self on why did I left that umbrella today, why I didn't turned back to the car when I realized I left it this morning, why it's raining when I don't have any umbrella with me? Can I reach to where I'm going (as per right now) my car without getting wet?

Then I remember this ayah above,

"What a shame Kiki!" 

I have always believed that there's something in "everyday", something that God want us to learn and put it in our heart, just perhaps sometimes we didn't realized as we are too rushed up with this Dunya. It could be anything, however small that things were, it could be people or places that we went to, it could be our own thought that lingered around in our mind. That "something" which we encountered "everyday" would be a chance for us to reflect and learn. But most of the time, we didn't realize, we let that moment passed by in front of our eyes.

And we lost it.

Sometimes we lost it with our own rapid time, worst, we lost it with our emotions, anger or perhaps when we are too sad over some issue, we forgot that it can be that "something" in "everyday" that God send to us, 

I often lost it too. But we need to continue trying right?

And more than often, I need to take time to realized it, time to sober up my mind from this beautiful Dunya. Sometimes I didn't realized about that "something" at all, I am so blinded with emotion. 

Yes indeed, we are not a good planner, nobody are. But no harm in trying right? 

And maybe yesterday we lost that "something", but we are here today right? Let's take the time to find it in anything that we do ;) 

As for me, today I forgot my umbrella only to realized that I shouldn't be so nonchalant about it, especially on this rainy season. And I learned how the feeling are when you put so much effort on something, then you stopped it half way only to realized that the next two steps before you stop is perhaps your victory. 

How does it feel? 
Yeah, its sucks! 

But its kind of amazing too cos I found my "something" in "everyday" today ;)

"How beautiful it is that we can learn when we found something and we can also learn when we lost something. Both words contradict each other but bring us to one which is Him."

*Taken from my other platform which I wrote 3 days ago
Have a happy day always! xx
(K)


Sunday, 22 February 2015

The heartache of expectation

I have always reminded myself about the heartache of "expectation", how I must not "expect" anything from anyone, how I should live my life and never allow anyone to easily hurt me, key is to not "expect" anything,

But then this silly heart of mine, always failed (each time). When I love (not that mushy kind of love) I let it ruled my life, too passionated with the emotion and I "expected" people to act like how I acted, to give back the same joy as what I gave them, or what I thought I gave them.

If they don't, it will break my heart.

Perhaps I'm the expressive kind, or worse I'm really not good in the love department, I'm an individualistic jerk who always "expect" even when I know that most loves are not mutual, nor balance, and there is no fair in love. (and life)

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, 21 February 2015

The circle of 2

Have you guys encountered this quote before, the one that people love to use as a self defence on why they didn't fight for what they love,

"If you love someone, set them free, if they come back to you, they are yours, if they don't, they never were"

Seriously all wrong! Fight for what you want! On what you believe in! Why simply give up? Don't leave it all to destiny and fate, man jadda wa jadda.

I always thinks that apart from all the serious problems in our world, our biggest problems are two,

1. Scared to voice out our feeling not only on love, be it anything, we afraid to give opinion, we wanna be fake and continue pleasing people or we rather be sad than try and show people what we thinks. We scared to be honest, and we don't want to accept that some truth can hurt us but it also will shaped us into better,

This will lead to problem number 2 which is,

2. Miss communications/miss perceptions

We always assumed about certain things, we ought not to try and clear up all the knots in our brain. We scared to ask why and come clear, we rather living in our own fairy world and judge based on our own perception. We believe on what we want to believe,

This circle of scared to voice things out and miss communications will continue forever unless we try to break the circle.

Nobody can do that but US.
Do not afraid to be you, to voice things out, do it because of Allah, Lillahitaala (For the sake of Him). And dont simply jump to any conclusion before you ask or before you analysed the situation better.

Fight hard on what you believe in, and then, leave it all to Allah. Above all, never expect anything from people, expectation can leads to heartache, leave it all to Allah, He will surely take a good care of our Heart ;) #somethingtoponder #selfreminderformyownsillyself

*Taken from my journal entry last year

posted from Bloggeroid

Thursday, 19 February 2015

Angin Damai


Aku mahu jadi angin,
terapung-apung,
melayang,
tanpa terikat dengan mimpi siapa-siapa,
aku mahu jadi neutralist,
yang pasak hati hanya pada Tuhan,
aku mahu berhenti berfikir seolah aku tahu semua perkara,
aku mahu buang justifikasi,
dan lepas semua yang memang tak tergapai,
aku mahu ajar hati untuk mimpi berpada-pada,

Aku mahu jadi angin,
tanpa zahir tapi masih penuh rasa, 
terapung-apung, melayang,
tapi masih tak hilang diri.

Aku mahu jadi angin,
Damai dalam diam.

(K)
@12022015

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, 14 February 2015

Sunrise

Before sunrise #nofilter




After sunrise #nofilter




Pic taken last week from my home window.

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, 7 December 2014

That floating cloud.

Certainly that all clouds are floating just that this one got that strange feeling strung to it, more visible but far-flung at the same time.

#kikiandskies unedited pic taken 041214 through my kitchen window.

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Kisah Doa Aishah

Image by joram nathanael

Semalam ada sedikit moment 'membebel' kalau bahasa positifnya aku gemar kata 'menasihati' haha. Aishah ada dirumah aku sebab cuti sekolah dah bermula kan, dan jumaat lepas aku pergi jemput dia dari sekolah asramanya. Jadi ada sesuatu perkara yang terjadi dan kemudian aku jadi geram sebenarnya, lebih kepada kecewa (tapi masih rasa sayu bila lihat muka Aishah, see tak mudah juga mahu jadi kakak yang garang begini haha)

Kisah kenapa aku 'membebel' ahem ahem 'menasihati' itu kita simpan dulu, ada masa kita sambung cerita yang itu. Jadi selepas moment itu berakhir, selepas salam minta maaf, Aishah faham dan janji insyaAllah takkkan buat lagi dan kakak minta maaf sebab 'membebel' dan terangkan kenapa kakak habiskan masa 'membebel' panjang begini.

Aku ke bilik air untuk mandi, antara rutin sebelum tidor aku, harus mandi malam, tak bagus rutin begini kata mak, tapi itulah. Dah biasa mungkin. Kemudian, wudhu untuk isya sekali, dan keluar nampak si Aishah masih ada wajah sayu (kakak masih rasa bersalah huhuhu), jadi nak redeem balik sesi 'membebel' tadi ajak la si Aishah solat jemaah sekali.

Dulu waktu si Aishah tadika, dan kakak di form six (13 tahun beza umur) selalu solat jemaah dengan Aishah, kemudian bila dah habis form six kakak kerja sekejap, sambung belajar, pindah tinggal di KL sekejap, tinggal Penang, memang jarang ada dirumah, selalu kalau balik pun solat sendiri-sendiri. Tahu-tahu si Aishah dah besar, dah 13 tahun pun.

Selalu setiap kali solat dengan si Aishah waktu dia masih di tadika dulu, selalu pesan,

"Adik, doa tau apa adik nak, adik nak mainan ka apa ka adik doa pada Allah tau, Allah selalu dengar doa kita"

Kemudian Aishah akan terkumat-kamit baca doa dia sendiri-sendiri, kakak pula baca doa kakak. Tak pernah terfikir nak tanya apa yang dia doakan waktu tu, entah, sebab aku rasa doa tu macam privasi masa kita dengan Allah, masa menangis cerita semuanya, masa ucap syukur gembira, jadi selalunya aku biar Aishah berdoa sendiri, kami salam peluk cium dan hidup macam biasa. Waktu tu aku cuma nak bagitahu dia, apapun yang kita nak, kena doa minta dekat Allah, apa sekalipun. Nanti Allah akan kirimkan doa kita melalui manusia, peristiwa atau apapun. Allah tahu.

Semalam lepas solat, jadi teringat nak tanya Aishah,

"Adik, adik ingat tak waktu tadika dulu lepas solat, kakak selalu pesan suruh adik doa apa saja yang adik mahu dengan Allah"

"Ingat"

Kemudian Aishah sambung,

"Dulu waktu tadika, adik teringin nak pakai baju gown kembang, lepastu adik doa pada Allah, ada satu hari tu mak pergi Selama (pekan yang terdekat dengan rumah aku) dan mak beli adik baju gown kembang, padahal adik tak pernah bagitahu mak pun."

MasyaAllah (hati kakak dah berambu dengan air mata dah ni). Kemudian Aishah sambung,

"Ada sekali tu, dekat tadika semua orang pegang duit sendiri, bila kawan adik sampai tadika, cikgu akan suruh depa masukkan dalam tabung sendiri. Mak takut duit adik hilang, jadi bila mak hantar, mak yang akan pegang duit dan bagi dekat Cikgu Yong (cikgu tadika). Adik teringin sangat nak pegang duit dan masukkan dalam tabung sendiri (mungkin perasaan bila letak duit dalam tabung itu kot). Kemudian adik doa pada Allah. Satu hari entah kenapa, Yang (mak saudara kami) bagi adik sepuluh ringgit, adik simpan dan esok adik bawa ke tadika dan adik dapat masukkan sendiri duit dalam tabung. Adik tak bagitahu mak, (di bahagian ini Aishah ketawa) tapi lepastu adik bagitahu mak (yang dia simpan rm10 duit pemberian Yang di tadika)"

Indah kan doa. Sekecil mana, sebiasa mana pun suatu perkara pada mata kita, doalah pada Allah. Tawakal, serah segalanya pada Allah, Allah akan tunjukkan jalan terbaik, pada masa yang paling baik :)

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Rain and destiny

Hujan turun. 

Cepat kaki kita lari cari teduh, takut basah.
Mulanya perlahan, rasa masih jauh untuk sampai. Kita pecut laju. Lari sekuat hati.

Kita di bawah teduh, hujan pun berhenti.
Kita di bawah teduh, habis lencun baju sendiri.

@18092013


Tuesday, 11 November 2014

One wish

"If you could only make one wish, what would it be?"

"I wish to have an infinite wishes" *winking smile inserted.

"That is cheating Kiki!"

"Hahahahhaa"

-----

Monday, 10 November 2014

Eyes and times

I've always wondered, "What makes the sky beautiful?"

Is it because of the clouds (sometimes black but most of the times are white and hollow) or the ever-changing skies colours?


"What?" I keep looking into the sky while my brain is searching for the answer.


Then I realized,

"It's the eyes."

The eyes that take the time to looked at the sky and wondered. That eyes.




Pic edited and taken last Friday at JK2PP with my huhuhaha siblings ;) #chado and #ecah

posted from Bloggeroid

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

Langit jingga dan cerita yang hilang

Zaman lara (atau lagha) dah tamat. Hari ini bukak blog dengan niat mahu sambung kisah aku tulis weekend lepas, puas cari, rupanya yang aku save adalah draft kosong.

Draft kosong!


Dahlah panjang nya lahai aku taip. Maybe agaknya kisah lagha ja yang aku taip, jadi tak sesuai untuk bacaan, sebab tu hilang. Dan aku syak jugak, Apps Blogger dekat phone ada masalah, hmm okay nanti download lain, sementara tu, sila lihat gambar langit ini ;)


Langit jingga. Diedit bagi sharp a bit. Pic taken few months back, at somewhere in Kedah.






Monday, 1 September 2014

Kisah terlepas langit cantik

Song : Que Sera by Justice Crew

"At the end of the day
Some you win, some you don’t
So I’m glad that I’m here
With some friends that I know
Always there with a smile
Saying you’re not alone
Singing la la la la
Que sera"

Hari ni langit masyaAllah cantik sangat waktu on the way here from kampung but too bad aku takda rasa nak snap apa gambar tadi, aku hanya lihat dan kagum langit Allah seorang diri sambil drive dengan kadar super perlahan, take about 2 hours and half nak sampai here, sambil blend dengan earth dan segala permandangan.

Kemudian bila nak sampai sini, dengar lagu "que sera", aku macam sedar,

"Gila bodoh layan perasaan sedih. Macam teruk sangat. Macam akan selesai kalau buat muka sememeh sedih"

HAHAHAHA

Selepas gelak sepatah dua kata pada diri sendiri. Aku bangun dan mula kira perkara yang patut aku "Syukur" hari ini. Banyak, terlalu banyak, sampai sekarang pun aku masih mengira.

Jom kira sama-sama!

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Biar

Kena berhenti untuk tahu semua, untuk cuba pegang semua perkara, sebab memang banyak perkara takkan dapat dijangkau, walau dekat. Setengahnya memang harus dibiar lepas walau sayang. Sifat terlalu bertanya ini boleh melemahkan, jadi onar marah yang sia-sia.

Diam. Bicara dalam doa.

Thursday, 21 August 2014

Something to ponder







Pagi yang manis! dekat Car Park Office dan teringat mahu share ayat ini. Tips tak nak sedih, jangan letak bahagia kita pada tangan manusia , letak bahagia kita pada Pemilik Bahagia ;)
posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Masalah

Bila ada masa gembira, gelak ketawa.
Potret cepat semua rasa dalam hati, ingat cepat-cepat setiap bait hujung senyum ketawa lebar --

Masa sedang pergi. 
Jangan jadi sang cinderella yang gembira sangat, lupa masa.
Jangan biar gembira
Sampai saat kita mahu lihat semula gembira tadi, kita jadi lupa --

Dan gembira sudah jauh.
-----
Entah emo malam-malam. Hari ini ada rasa sikit sikit kurang gembira ;) Takpalah. Biasalah kan namanya hidup. Kalau cakap soal masalah ni, penuh takkan habis. Biar jelah. Tadi ada seorang sahabat whatsapp, dia sedang sedih, dah berapa hari begitu, sembang-sembang, dia taip,

"Kenapa aku takleh jadi macam hang"
"Tak sekuat hang"
"Tak pernah tunjuk ada masalah"

Aduh sahabat, aku ini menangis sama banyak dari gembira (mungkin nisbah menangis itu lagi banyak) , tapi aku tak punya orang untuk aku kongsi sedih, selalu aku nangis sendiri.
Alhamdulillah, ini blessing in disguise bagi aku, nangis seorang buat aku kuat, sebab siapa lagi nak pujuk hati sendiri kan? HAHA Kadang kala bila aku nak tergelincir jauh dari jalan Tuhan, aku jadi malu sendiri, aku cepat-cepat merangkak masuk semula, aku cuma ada Tuhan bila aku nangis. Takkan aku nak tinggal Tuhan bila aku gembira?