The heartache of expectation

I have always reminded myself about the heartache of "expectation", how I must not "expect" anything from anyone, how I should live my life and never allow anyone to easily hurt me, key is to not "expect" anything,

But then this silly heart of mine, always failed (each time). When I love (not that mushy kind of love) I let it ruled my life, too passionated with the emotion and I "expected" people to act like how I acted, to give back the same joy as what I gave them, or what I thought I gave them.

If they don't, it will break my heart.

Perhaps I'm the expressive kind, or worse I'm really not good in the love department, I'm an individualistic jerk who always "expect" even when I know that most loves are not mutual, nor balance, and there is no fair in love. (and life)

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The circle of 2

Have you guys encountered this quote before, the one that people love to use as a self defence on why they didn't fight for what they love,

"If you love someone, set them free, if they come back to you, they are yours, if they don't, they never were"

Seriously all wrong! Fight for what you want! On what you believe in! Why simply give up? Don't leave it all to destiny and fate, man jadda wa jadda.

I always thinks that apart from all the serious problems in our world, our biggest problems are two,

1. Scared to voice out our feeling not only on love, be it anything, we afraid to give opinion, we wanna be fake and continue pleasing people or we rather be sad than try and show people what we thinks. We scared to be honest, and we don't want to accept that some truth can hurt us but it also will shaped us into better,

This will lead to problem number 2 which is,

2. Miss communications/miss perceptions

We always assumed about certain things, we ought not to try and clear up all the knots in our brain. We scared to ask why and come clear, we rather living in our own fairy world and judge based on our own perception. We believe on what we want to believe,

This circle of scared to voice things out and miss communications will continue forever unless we try to break the circle.

Nobody can do that but US.
Do not afraid to be you, to voice things out, do it because of Allah, Lillahitaala (For the sake of Him). And dont simply jump to any conclusion before you ask or before you analysed the situation better.

Fight hard on what you believe in, and then, leave it all to Allah. Above all, never expect anything from people, expectation can leads to heartache, leave it all to Allah, He will surely take a good care of our Heart ;) #somethingtoponder #selfreminderformyownsillyself

*Taken from my journal entry last year

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Angin Damai

Aku mahu jadi angin,
terapung-apung,
melayang,
tanpa terikat dengan mimpi siapa-siapa,
aku mahu jadi neutralist,
yang pasak hati hanya pada Tuhan,
aku mahu berhenti berfikir seolah aku tahu semua perkara,
aku mahu buang justifikasi,
dan lepas semua yang memang tak tergapai,
aku mahu ajar hati untuk mimpi berpada-pada,

Aku mahu jadi angin,
tanpa zahir tapi masih penuh rasa, 

terapung-apung, melayang,
tapi masih tak hilang diri.

Aku mahu jadi angin,
Damai dalam diam.

(K)
@12022015

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